Healing

God uses innumerable, limitless things to aid our healing, no one way or thing more important or better than the other.  But in my case, Avonlea Jane has been one of the most beautiful little balms of healing that I have ever known, right next to her daddy’s immeasurable presence in my life.

From the first moments I knew she was tucked in my womb, I would whisper, in moments of solitude, “I love you.  I love you.”  And with all my inner strength I would will these words to somehow infuse into my blood and being and be carried down to her tiny little self, where no matter how long she stayed with me, be it only sweet, short weeks or the long, lovely months up to birth, she would feel and know the consuming depth and breadth of the love I already had for her.

Now here she is, right beside me, fighting the sleep which so loves to cocoon newborns, smiling up at me if I should happen to lean down and contemplate her little face – as I often do, working on cueing up her little voice so she can talk with us as soon as possible.  Here she is, being so different from my first baby, yet still so familiar.  Here she is, the tiny little creature for whom I held my breath to feel fluttering in my belly, now a snuggly, warm, smooshy little thing that loves to be held and talked to.

“I’m so glad it was you,” I tell her, leaning down and smiling into her chubby little face as she reclines in the hand-me-down bouncy chair.  And I’m rewarded with the most precious, tender little smile that lights up her face.  She knows.

Avonlea Jane is Born

Four weeks and one day.  It's been four weeks and one day since my sweet little family added our most precious addition of sweetness since Siennalee McCall joined us five and a half years ago.

Avonlea Jane was born on March 12, 2012 at 7:42 am and weighed 8 pounds, 1.2 ounces.  She was born via c-section, just like her big sister was 5 1/2 years ago.  But this second experience was like night and day to my first c-section.  Where I had previously struggled through pain and exhaustion in a haze of painkillers, I was now clearheaded and able to make the physical and mental efforts necessary to speed my recovery along.  It was a beautiful experience - and one very welcome after my first difficult labor and delivery, and not to mention the long, long road of waiting for our darling Avonlea.

Since this post is 4 weeks in coming, I thought I'd give you a little peek at the sweet little face that my newborn has grown into so far.  Her eyes are deep blue, less and less of the slate blue of a newborn, and her little face is round with a dear little chin.  So far she has my ears and Jason's sweet mouth.  We are so enjoying watching her blossom into the special and unique beauty that will be Avonlea Jane Kantola.

March 12th had us arriving at Sacred Heart Hospital in the wee hours for a 5:20 am check-in.  I must admit, there are some very wonderful perks to the scheduled cesarean: I was able to shower (and shave!) before we left for the hospital - I even did my hair!  No make-up though.  Maybe next time.  :)  I was calm, at peace, and surrounded with love by Jason, my mom and then my mother-in-law Tricia and sister-in-law Cheri.  I walked into the Operating Room to deliver my daughter.

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