Some Thoughts on Craigslist (And No, They're Not for Sale)

Society is pretty much divided up into two people groups: those who do Craigslist, and those who don’t.

Now, I have friends who buy, sell, and surf Craigslist as often as I check Facebook – which is far too often, but don’t tell my husband… he won’t approve… for whatever reason.

For too long I’ve flitted around the borders of Craigslist no-man’s land, never a poster nor a buyer, but not a true abstainer either.  Finally, my time came.

It was my duvet cover that did it.  I had bought it from Pottery Barn during the long months when Jason was stationed in Kuwait.  It was a great buy and what I’d hoped was a step toward something new, but unfortunately, it would be a step in the wrong direction.  The duvet cover is a blue background with flowers and paisleys (my brother Paul is a big paisley fan – ask him about it sometime) spread liberally across the foreground.  I enjoy flowers and tolerate paisleys, but the blue I’d envisioned (this was an online purchase) was more of a blue steel (more Martha, less Zoolander) and what arrived via UPS was a stubborn country blue circa late 1980's.  Okay, not that bad.  (If you're a fan of blue and looking for a king-size duvet cover - with four matching shams - call me!)  I was displeased, but remained confident it would look good on our new king-sized bed.  Maybe it would grow on me.  We could work it out.  Long story short, here we are, nearly three years later, and the blue has not grown on me.  We can't work it out.  In fact, it became one of those things where I would be busily doing something else, something innocent and non-duvet related, and I would find my eyes unwillingly, inexorably pulled back to my bed.  And to the blue.  Dear God, the blue.  Finally, three years later, unable, unwilling to take it any longer - I burst out in dramatic confessional fashion to Jason (or was it more of a sleepily whiny confession?), “I don’t like it!  I just don’t like it!”

So here we are.  Hello Craigslist.  I took some good pics, if I do say so myself, and wrote what I’d hoped would be an attention grabbing, witty little title and post for my duvet cover (and four pillow shams – yep, sorry guys, you’re out, too).  I posted it late Friday night after creating my VERY FIRST Craigslist account.  Actually, I think you only ever get to create one anyway, but I digress…

That night I was plagued with dreams of psychopathic Craigslist stalkers emailing inquiries on any duvet cover listings throughout the Corvallis/Albany area…

And the next morning – surprise! – an inquiry.  I was excited.  I was scared.  The emailer, with an odd name but nothing sounding Nigerian-email-scammer-ish, wanted to know if “it was still available?”  Odd, but whatever.  Not everybody sits and stares at the emails they’ve just taken 20 minutes to compose, recompose, and recompose again before they finally hit send.  After 20 minutes I sent her back a very brief, “yes, it’s still available.”

Later in the day, I checked my spam folder – I hadn’t heard back from her and thought, maybe, just in case… and there was her return email.  Odd.  I checked it.  And shuddered.

An “auto response” from her yahoo account (what the hey is that anyway?) didn’t even mention my duvet cover (and four matching shams) – I tried not to be hurt – but gave some very odd invitation to a “midnight meet-up” for those who were too shy to put in their own personal ads.

I read it once, read it again, and spammed her.  I might've even spammed her twice.  I don’t think she was ever even interested in buying my duvet cover (and four matching shams).

Alas, I’ve had no more inquiries.  Disappointment is setting in.

But I’m also encouraged for those out there – and apparently you are out there – who are too shy to put in a personals ad, but might be looking for love through a well-worded, witty household goods post on Craigslist: Avelina Cornett is on your side.